This Public Service spleen-letting was brought to you by me
Posted by Euroranger on September 4, 2009
When I started this blog, I have to readily admit, I did it as a therapeutic exercise. You know, a place to vent anonymously and say, if even just to myself, the things I so desperately want to say to others but cannot. Societal constraints against offending people are apparently too ingrained in me to allow me to jump up into people’s grilles and exercise my 1st Amendment right to free speech in their faces. With profanity. And possibly spittle flying. The reasons I cannot overcome these genteel conversational rules are simple and easily enumerated:
- I was raised a polite person by parents who, whenever they weren’t beating the evil out of me for torturing my little sister, wanted to instill superior etiquette rules and behaviors in their only son
- My health insurer advises against me doing so
- I’m chicken
So, this blog serves as a dumping ground for my less polished emotional outbursts. Just like reality TV, a blog is a great place to do it because others are entertained by bearing witness to some stranger’s misery. Just like those people who slow down when driving by an accident. Just like those people who go to Nascar races. Watching someone else’s life pile itself into a wall in turn 4 going around a brazillion miles an hour is somehow strangely entertaining. Anyway, I figured if I gotta unburden myself, why not do it where others can vicariously view it and then feel better about themselves primarily because they aren’t me? In essence then, this blog is a freakin’ public service…and just like Civil Defense facilities, this thing outta come with its own air raid siren or at least a backyard bomb shelter.
However, I digress.
I have determined that it requires only 1/2 workday of my existence to pile up enough material to produce one, probably-longer-than-necessary blog entry. As it is around mid-day, that makes it half a day…so let’s see what I have so far:
Euroranger [11:44 AM]: So…wanna hear what I’m doing?
ShadesOfGrey [11:44 AM]: ya
Euroranger [11:45 AM]: Okay…so, since Day 1 with the new job, we’ve been working from an XP box that’s located in the boss’ living room. He’s running IIS off it and that’s actually what the sites are running from as well. A real sketchy setup, right?
ShadesOfGrey [11:45 AM]: ugh
Euroranger [11:45 AM]: So, I’ve been telling him about hosted solutions (because his alternative was to drop around $10K in hardware alone and then co-lo that).
ShadesOfGrey [11:46 AM]: k
Euroranger [11:46 AM]: Anyway, long story short, he asked me a month back to research viable CF hosts.
Euroranger [11:46 AM]: So I did and sent him an email with a couple of options…this, however, was CF8 with MySQL5.
Euroranger [11:46 AM]: …naturally, him being the boss, he did nothing with it.
ShadesOfGrey [11:47 AM]: of course
Euroranger [11:47 AM]: So, a few weeks go by and we hire Dumbass.
ShadesOfGrey [11:47 AM]: I remember it so well
Euroranger [11:47 AM]: Now, as has become exceptionally clear, Dumbass, despite his claims to the contrary, knows jack and shit about MySQL.
Euroranger [11:48 AM]: So, out of the blue, about 2 wks ago, suddenly we need a hosting solution…oh, and it needs to be using SQL Server…
Euroranger [11:48 AM]: …I don’t participate in any discussion about this…as really, I could care less, I’m equally capable in either db.
Euroranger [11:49 AM]: However, rather than even speak with the recommended hosts I researched, boss (probably aided and abetted by Dumbass) pulls some hosting solution out of his ass and purchases a contract with them.
Euroranger [11:49 AM]: …that was 2 weeks ago.
ShadesOfGrey [11:49 AM]: oh lawd
Euroranger [11:50 AM]: …I got called in yesterday PM to see if I could figure out how to get our server set up and running.
Euroranger [11:50 AM]: Now, Dumbass has been supposed to be doing this since Monday…however, I discover not only hasn’t he done it, he hadn’t even logged on yet.
ShadesOfGrey [11:51 AM]: makes perfect sense
Euroranger [11:51 AM]: Still, me being the great guy I am, I work out all the RDS kinks and late yesterday I managed to successfully log onto the box.
ShadesOfGrey [11:51 AM]: why would he do the work, when he can wait and you will do it for him
Euroranger [11:51 AM]: Now, this box is Server 2008…something I’ve not seen before.
Euroranger [11:52 AM]: …however, the way this host is set up, I need access via a web control panel interface to set up the database…which, I was advised, was on another box…which is normal.
Euroranger [11:52 AM]: So, to briefly recap, I logged onto the box and set up the site, moved files and created and tested the FTP connection. The last element is…the database.
Euroranger [11:52 AM]: …and who better to leave THAT to than Dumbass…our “expert”?
ShadesOfGrey [11:53 AM]: so.. did you set up the db yet?
Euroranger [11:53 AM]: Oh no…check it…choice exerpts from the chat transcript with the boss this AM:
Euroranger [11:54 AM]: BossMan [11:25 AM]: when you try to setup a Data source in coldfusion using any account it errors and says Connection refused
Euroranger [11:55 AM]: Euroranger [11:21 AM]: He (SALESMAN AT THE HOSTING PROVIDER) was telling me you guys had installed a SQL Server instance on the 240.107 (THE CF SERVER) box. Is that not the case?
BossMan [11:21 AM]: Yes
BossMan [11:22 AM]: Their hosted SQL would only handle 500megs (OUR CURRENT DB IS BUT 210MB…AND AROUND 3/4 OF THAT IS LOG FILES AND GARBAGE TABLES)
Euroranger [11:55 AM]: Euroranger [11:27 AM]: Well, one step at a time…
Euroranger [11:27 AM]: Is there a database on the new SQL Server deployment you guys added?
Euroranger [11:27 AM]: Something like XXXXX?
BossMan [11:27 AM]: YYYYY
Euroranger [11:28 AM]: Okay…and the user account you’re trying to set up the datasource under…does it have access to that database?
BossMan [11:28 AM]: yes
Euroranger [11:29 AM]: Is is the default “sa” account?
BossMan [11:29 AM]: have tried all accounts. sa, ZZZZZ, and a new one we created
Euroranger [11:29 AM]: Hm.
Euroranger [11:56 AM]: BossMan [11:30 AM]: the crazy this is the server cannot resolve “localhost” you have to type in the IP address of the server
Euroranger [11:30 AM]: Do you have access to their shared SQL Server database (THE SOLUTION THEY SOLD US)?
Euroranger [11:57 AM]: BossMan [11:31 AM]: no
Euroranger [11:31 AM]: No, you can’t access it?
BossMan [11:32 AM]: no we were never give that because we told them from the beginning we would install our own (WHAAAT????)
Euroranger [11:33 AM]: Oh, I see. (COMPLETE FUCKING DEPARTURE FROM ANY SANE WEBSITE DEPLOYMENT)
ShadesOfGrey [11:57 AM]: lol
Euroranger [11:58 AM]: Wait for it….
Euroranger [11:58 AM]: Euroranger [11:37 AM]: Want a suggestion?
BossMan [11:38 AM]: I think I know what the issue is
Euroranger [11:38 AM]: They host CF, they host SQL Server and they have people right there…tell them to configure it so you can use it. Have them set up default passwords and then when they’re done, we change them to something else.
BossMan [11:39 AM]: this is a vertual server. probably shares a NIC and thats why it goes off server and back in to the IP Address
BossMan [11:40 AM]: virtual
BossMan [11:40 AM]: or atleast appears that way
Euroranger [11:41 AM]: I’ve never dealt with a virtual server before…
BossMan [11:42 AM]: what was the name of the hosting company you sent me
ShadesOfGrey [11:58 AM]: brb
Euroranger [11:59 AM]: So, to recap, I sent them a perfectly viable hosting solution with more than enough database space. Dumbass comes along and, because he’s a fucking liar and because my boss is apparently too dense to notice, we have to change the fucking database product from MySQL to SQL Server.
Euroranger [12:00 PM]: But, as if that isn’t enough, our existing 210MB database will apparently be too large to fit on the allocated 500MB of space on the shared SQL Server deployment this host normally offers. Again, I detect the effects of a Dumbass conversation.
Euroranger [12:01 PM]: So as to make this entire situation a complete disaster-movie-worthy epic fuckup we go out and BUY SQL Server 2008 and then install it on the same fucking box as CF8…
Euroranger [12:02 PM]: …on a hosted machine…
Euroranger [12:02 PM]: …which is running in a virtual server environment.
Euroranger [12:02 PM]: …which, surprise surprise, none of us seem to know anything about…especially our database “expert”.
Euroranger [12:05 PM]: I’m wondering if there’s an entity even more omnipotent than God…and whether he too hates me.
ShadesOfGrey [12:09 PM]: lol
Euroranger [12:10 PM]: I mean…man…you can’t make this up.
Euroranger [12:10 PM]: It’s just CF8 and a fucking database…how much more complicated can you make it you ask? Who knows? But stay tuned and find out.
ShadesOfGrey [12:11 PM]: he he he
Euroranger [12:11 PM]: I swear, I fully expect to be told next “hey, the server’s language pack is just Sanscrit…can we work around that?”…
You see, I’m a man of normal temperament just trying to do my job, get paid, take care of my family, get lucky every great once in awhile with Mrs. Ranger and pretty much just live my life in the most calm and personally pleasing manner possible.
However, omnipotent deities everywhere obviously have it out for me as there’s no way, not even taking into account I may be suffering the karma accrued in a previous life by someone like Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler or Billy Mays, I should be receiving this much cosmic torture. You, gentle reader, no matter how much you think your job sucks, should feel better bearing witness to what it is I have to put up with on, what is becoming obvious to me will be, a daily basis. Unless yer that poofy tiger-trainer fella in Vegas who nearly got eaten a few years back, chances are your job is merely mildly annoying and not enough motivation for you to know that even if you hawked all the shit you owned you still prolly wouldn’t make bail for all the acts you contemplate committing on your “co-workers” everyday…not that I’m admitting to anything like that…just sayin’ is all.
For instance, today it’s the Friday before a long weekend. I have friend from Canada coming into town tomorrow. He’s returning home from Florida and he’ll be stopping nearby with his family for the night and wants us to come visit him right in the middle of the day. He has a daughter around the same age as my own (9) and they’ve chosen the hotel they’re staying at (around 25 mi away) as it is close to a store his daughter wishes to visit. Now given the demonstrated proof of supernatural interest in turning my life into a blooper reel of sitcom outtakes superimposed on images of suicide victims, what store could you imagine he wants to visit? On a long weekend (which means I can’t flee town to the hills as I would normally be doing)? On the first Saturday of college football (the first universally accepted “man day” on the calendar)? When I have a standing invite to attend a friend’s all day college football party wherein the games are viewed on a home theatre with surround sound and whose screen area is best described using the word “acreage”?
American Girl Doll Store…that’s where.
I look normal on the outside…it’s only on the inside that I’m crying.
My name is Euroranger and I approved this message.