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Good intentions pave the road to hell…or a Nobel Prize…either or.

Posted by Euroranger on October 9, 2009

Pooh...and some dude in a bear costume.

So, by now you’ve probably heard that Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize this morning.  He is just the third sitting U.S. president to receive the award and the first since the end of World War One.  The two previous sitting presidents, Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson won for their efforts to promote world peace.  Roosevelt was recognized for brokering the peace that ended the Russo-Japanese war of 1905 and Wilson was recognized for his League of Nations proposal and his efforts to end the First World War.  Both outstanding achievements despite the fact that the Japanese victory in the 1905 war led to them thinking of a bigger, bolder Japan that culminated in their invasion of China in 1931 and eventually their participation in World War Two and that the League of Nations, while a really nifty idea, was a complete and abject failure and led the rest of Europe to act like emasculated simpletons right around the time Hitler was beginning to get his groove on.

Obama’s award, however, is somewhat different.  You see, Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in…uh…his efforts to…um…well shit…I don’t know.  And you know what?  Neither does he:

“I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many transformative figures that have been honored by this prize,” [Obama] said.

But that’s okay.  I’m sure someone on the actual committee that voted for him to win the prize knows what it was for:

Members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee said their choice could be seen as an early vote of confidence in Obama intended to build global support for his policies. They lauded the change in global mood wrought by Obama’s calls for peace and cooperation, and praised his pledges to reduce the world stock of nuclear arms, ease American conflicts with Muslim nations and strengthen the U.S. role in combating climate change.

“Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics,” the citation read, in part. “Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts.”

Aagot Valle, a lawmaker for the Socialist Left party who joined the committee this year, said she hoped the selection would be viewed as “support and a commitment for Obama.”

“Some people say, and I understand it, isn’t it premature? Too early? Well, I’d say then that it could be too late to respond three years from now,” Nobel Committee chairman Thorbjoern Jagland said. “It is now that we have the opportunity to respond — all of us.”

Or maybe not.

Speak softly and carry a big stick...or maybe just build global support, change the global mood and promise change. LOL! Just kidding...

"Speak softly and carry a big stick...or maybe just build global support, change the global mood and promise change. LOL! Just kidding..."

I bolded and even italicized (because I discovered those keys recently) the pertinent parts, the crucial criteria if you will, for why Obama was selected out of field of people who, you know, actually DID something to promote the cause of world peace.  Sweet jebus on a pogostick, what is this world coming to?  I get it that Europe is basically crazy gluing their pants to their collective abdomen over our election of this guy.  But this?  Really?  What, you didn’t cheapen the prize enough when you awarded it to Yassar-fucking-Arafat?  For crying out loud, they ADMIT this award has zero to do with anything Obama has DONE but for what he has said he intends to want to possibly do…maybe.  Is this now the standard of what represents peace in the world outside the United States?  Granted, I live in the U.S. and we’ve known domestic peace since around…oh…1865 because of our global location and the fact that our military would kick the unholy shit out of any other nation that came here to fuck with us…so maybe I’m not in the best position to judge, right?  I mean, jeez, how can a citizen of a nation whose informal policy has been “peace through strength”  really know these things?

All I know is that the continent I grew up on hasn’t gone up in flames for going on 150 years and we haven’t needed to have our stronger, wiser offspring come by and rescue us from our idiot pacifist policies twice in the past few generations (three times if you count Bosnia and Kosovo).  Naw, what the hell would I know?  Certainly, those folks from the Norwegian parliament know better about these arcane things than me.

So, given that admission of moral superiority let’s review what this was about again:

“I hope it will be an inspiration for all those that work with nuclear disarmament and disarmament” [said] Aagot Valle, a lawmaker for the Socialist Left party who joined the committee this year.

Ah.  Okay.  So it’s about nuclear disarmament and disarmament in general.  Gotcha.  Well, that’s enough of this story…let’s move on to the other news of the day:

Taliban Growth Weighs on Obama Strategy Review

At a strategy session on Friday, Obama and his top advisers were expected to discuss for the first time McChrystal’s request to deploy 40,000 more troops in Afghanistan next year as part of a beefed up counterinsurgency.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said at least one other strategy session was slated for next week but that decisions by Obama were “probably several weeks away.”

McChrystal’s proposed increase — on top of the 65,000 U.S. troops and 39,000 allied forces now in Afghanistan — and the broader strategy review present Obama with what may be the most difficult choices of his young presidency.

As U.S. and NATO casualties have soared, public support for the eight-year-old war has eroded. Sending 40,000 more troops could spark a backlash within Obama’s own Democratic Party.

Whoops!  Adding more troops to a war against a regime that harbored terrorists that attacked us?  That doesn’t sound much like “eas[ing] American conflicts with Muslim nations”.  It sounds more to me like “hand-wringing over a decision to kick the everloving shit out of Muslims because it might be unpopular in polls” and at the very least it doesn’t sound very disarment-y.  That can’t be the news I was looking for.  Let’s look again:

Official: Iran ready to ‘blow up’ heart of Israel

Earlier this year, a senior commander said Iranian missiles could reach Israeli nuclear sites. Israel is believed to be the only nuclear-armed Middle East state.

At talks in Geneva on October 1, Iran agreed with six world powers — the United States, Russia, China, Britain, France and Germany — to give U.N. experts access to a newly-disclosed uranium enrichment plant south of Tehran.

Iran and Western powers described talks as constructive and a step forward. However, underlying tension was highlighted before the meeting when Iran test-fired missiles with ranges that could put Israel and regional U.S. bases within reach.

The Geneva talks are expected to win Iran a reprieve from tougher U.N. sanctions, although Western powers are likely to be wary of any attempt by Tehran to buy time to develop its nuclear program.

Senior cleric Ahmad Khatami, leading Friday prayers in Tehran, said the meeting represented a “victory” for Iran.

Longhorns fan to boot?  What are we waiting for?

Secret devil handsigns or Longhorns fan to boot? Either way, what are we waiting for?

Say…isn’t that the same Iran who swore up and down the nuclear program they revealed to the world right after the previous president made clear that enemies of the U.S. were in deep doodoo but then claimed it was only for nuclear energy generation despite sitting on known crude oil energy reserves that would easily power Iran for the next 300 years and no you can’t come inspect our facilities and it doesn’t matter if we’re refining the uranium far in excess of the purity needed to power an electrical generation plant but to the levels needed to make a bomb which we say we aren’t pursuing while we’re also saying how Israel should be “wiped off the map” but then later scolded you ignorant westerners on the mistranslation even though that was what the official Iranian news agency put in their english language press release?  That Iran?  Wow, good thing Obama intends to engage them in dialogue otherwise they might end up building and hiding a second secret nuclear refinement plant underground inside a mountain next to an army base.  Oh, wait.  My bad.  Never mind.  Surely, though Obama will bring his new trophy to still yet more interminable talks with the mullahs’ representatives and they’ll be all like “damn, here we were all bent on building a nuclear bomb but now that Obama has that totally boss medallion the Norwegians gave him for saying pretty things…well…we better rethink our whole evil plot”.   Whew!  We sure dodged a bullet on THAT one, huh?  Thank heaven for Obama and his good intentions.  I know I’LL rest easier at night knowing that the Iranians are having a serious re-examination of their plans now that Obama’s building global support, changing global moods and pledging things.  I guess we can safely scrap all that silly army, navy and air force stuff in the name of disarmament, huh?

Oh, by the way, this whole peace prize award?  Yeah, about that…you know when the deadline for submitting candidates for consideration for the prize was?

…the Obama presidency, which began less than two weeks before the Feb. 1 nomination deadline and has yet to yield concrete achievements in peacemaking.

Yeah.  He was in office less than TWO WHOLE WEEKS and he’d been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for “calls for peace and cooperation and pledges to reduce nuclear arms”…THAT HE HADN’T EVEN MADE YET WHEN HE WAS FUCKING NOMINATED!!!  (Yeah, I discovered the caps lock/Billy Mays key too.)  In short, the Norwegians were still hung over by the magical ascendancy of Obama to the presidency and then went full retard on the whole thing and nominated him for a prize for him speaking words that he hadn’t even uttered yet as president.  I’m looking for a picture to represent this idiocy but I’m not sure I can locate one:

Here...we were out of cookies.  Have a Nobel Peace Prize instead

Here...we were out of cookies. Have a Nobel Peace Prize instead.

No…wait…wrong again.  I found one.

My name is Euroranger and I approved this message.


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